How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Little Break

I think I'm gonna take the rest of the year off writing, just so you know. I hope that's ok. I just have a lot on my mind and I think I need to not have the additional stress that I put on myself to update this too. If I do have time, I might add an entry or two if I have something to say. Hopefully I will, but I can't promise anything.

So thanks, have a great holiday, and I'll write to you in 2007! Love ya!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

No Wonder They Never Caught Jack The Ripper

The British police force is pretty fast. They finally came out with a report the Princess Diana’s death was and accident. They were all over that one. It only took about nine and a half years to crack that one. Maybe they can help out with the Jimmy Hoffa case and the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. Maybe even they can crack the JFK case with their skills and timeliness. I think if I’m ever going to commit a serious crime, I’ll have to do it in England. I’ll be dead before they figure out it was me.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Quick Weekend Wrap-Up

For the most part, the weekend was pretty good. I was still feeling like shit, but on Friday night we went out to celebrate Timmy’s birthday. It was karaoke night, and basically we were the only ones there. So we got to sing a lot of songs. I think I sang about seven songs, including such gems as “Working for the Weekend” and “Linger.” Yeah, I rock. And I was sober too. Hopefully Timmy appreciated it, because even though I was horrible (and worse than normal with my sick voice), I tried to be fun.

Saturday was ok. I was still sick, but not as bad, and we took the kid to Gymboree and then came home. That night we went to my wife’s last job’s Holiday Party, and it was fun. The food was good, and I got to have some free beer. Plus they still gave her a nice bonus (which is odd since she quit), so it was pretty sweet.

Yesterday blew as the game sucked. But I guess at least I got paid. That was the highlight I guess. We also set up our new fake Christmas tree, and it was the first time in a few years that we didn’t get in a fight about it. So that was nice. Maybe it will be a great Christmas.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Muncie Blue

Apparently there’s gonna be a new reality show on TV where five celebrities (Jack Osbourne, LaToya Jackson, Erik Estrada, Wee Man from “Jackass,” and some super-hot WWE chick are all going to be police officers in Muncie, Indiana. Naturally, Estrada will be awesome because he’s Ponch, as he was the baddest ass on the California Highway Patrol. You know he’s got skills. Wee Man and Osbourne I think will be fine, but I’m a little worried about LaToya, and not just because she couldn’t complete the physical test required to be on the force. Apparently she couldn’t do 25 consecutive push-ups (which I can barely do myself, by the way), but they let her anyway. But I’m not sure how smart it is to have the crazy Jackson on the police force (which is sad when you’re the one who’s considered the crazy one from that family). I’m not sure what the crime rate is like in Muncie, but I’m guessing that this stunt is going to make it go up. Wouldn’t it worth it to get a traffic ticket from Ponch? I think so. And I’m sure the town is full of dudes who want to get frisked by this woman:

I think I’ll be tuning in, if I don’t move to Muncie before then.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Yeah, It's Just Around The Corner

I wrote a nice little story about what I did last night, but I had to delete it because it would ruin the surprise of a couple of birthday presents we’re giving away. So instead, I’ll write about this:

Beer Trip III

As of today, if we go on the day that we’re planning, we leave in 230 days. Yeah, and I’ve already pretty much mapped out the whole trip, depending on if we can get into the places that we want to. I pretty much think that we can, with the exception of one or two places that might be difficult. As I’ve planned it out now, we’ll be hitting 19 breweries in five days, the majority being in the state of Michigan. So yeah, we’ll be averaging about four breweries a day if that happens, so I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a good time. I’m not entirely sure who is going to be joining me besides Timmy, Caddy, and Cruiser, but even with us four, it’s gonna be blast. So Dal-beeyotch, get to work on those buttons!

Cruiser's artwork during an important meeting

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I Might Have Missed My Chance To Become A Legend

Man, this week sucks. Now I’m getting sick, so that just makes things all the much crappier. But no one wants to read a blog from a complaining, sick jerk, so I’ll talk about something else. Or at least try.

Last Saturday I worked the Big 12 Championship at the stadium. The game was kinda boring, and it was really cold where I was sitting (inside, even), but at least I got paid for it. And unlike the other games I work, I had a field pass, so a couple of my friends and I walked around the field a few times while the teams were warming up, which was kinda cool. But late in the game, when I was actually working, our director asked the cameramen to try to get a shot of former Sooner Brian Bosworth and country music douchebag Toby Keith, who were both on the Oklahoma sideline. Many thoughts were in my head. Could I leave my post to go down to the field and punch Toby in the face? I’d surely get fired if I did, but I think my street cred would go through the roof if I did that. And why couldn’t that knob have been down there when I was down there before the game? I could have at least called him a stroke or made fun of him for being a “hard-working Ford man” or something else. So naturally, I was kinda bummed about it. I mean, I wouldn’t really have punched him in the face (although I’d have been tempted), but it would have been nice to tell him about other bars he’d love where all the different types of white folk hung out. That would have made me feel like I mattered. Instead, I just did my job. There should be no doubt that I’m a great employee.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Another Shitty Entry!

I'm only working a half day today because the maintanence guy came by this morning to check out the elliptical trainer just to make sure everything was tip-top since the warranty expires on it next week. They said that he'd be by between 8 AM and noon. They were right. He literally showed up at 11:59 AM. No joke. 11:58 AM would seem more realistic, but it was 11:59 AM. He at least called me at 11:10 AM to tell me he was about 45 minutes away, but yeah, that was pretty sweet. So I'm in another terrific mood, plus I think I'm getting sick and apparently I'm in charge today at work when I wasn't supposed to be. So yeah, today kicks ass. Kill me please.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Not Much Of An Excuse...

...but I think that my sports teams' losses this weekend have kinda knocked the wind out of my writing sails. Kansas losing to DePaul and the Chiefs losing to the lowly Browns doesn't have me in a writing mood. Maybe tomorrow. Love ya.

Friday, December 01, 2006

I'm Only Up To Good

Apparently, I’ve been really into all the cool causes lately. And I haven’t really been trying. But I’m down with all the hip causes now. I mean, when they had the Great American Smoke-Out the other week, I didn’t have one cigarette that day. And now, African-American leaders have requested that everyone (especially rappers and comedians) stop using the N-word, so I will follow suit as well. Now granted, I think I’ve only smoked about five cigarettes in my life, and most were to piss off someone I was with who was smoking, and plus, it’s probably been a few years. And I can’t tell you the last time I even quoted someone who used the N-word, without saying “the N-word,” and I don’t think I’ve every used it on my own in my life. But still, I’m a part of the solution, not the problem. So who’s with me? I know Kramer isn’t. He probably smokes, too.