How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Are You Ready To Rock, Kansas?!?!?!?!?

Well, this weekend is coming, and it should be a busy one. First off, one of my wife’s friends is coming into town to hang out tonight, which will be kinda fun, I think. Tomorrow, we take the kid to Gymboree and I work a soccer game at night. And on Sunday, after a day of doing yard work and other household chores, I’ll be going to see Rancid play with a couple of friends from work. That will be interesting, since they are a punk band and I do not look at all like a punk music guy. Being 31, I’ll probably be the oldest person in the house when they’re playing, and I’m sure I’ll stick out, kinda like Ace Ventura when he went to the Cannibal Corpse concert. I won’t dance like him though, I promise. I am really looking forward to it though, as they are one of my favorite bands, definitely in my top three. And probably my favorite band that is still together, so I’m pretty pumped about it. And who knows, maybe I’ll get in a fight with some teenage punk and it’ll be the best concert ever. Especially if they play, “Salvation.”

You have a great weekend, and I’ll tell you all about mine on Monday.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

I'm A Big Fat Liar Who Should Be Shot!

Today was a busy day, so I don't have time to add anything good today. I hope you all have a great day, and I care about you a lot.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Kobe Bryant Is A Good Guy Again?

Sorry again I haven’t written in a while. Last week was crazy at work, and this week it has been a little busy, but not busy enough to not write. So here’s what has been on my mind lately:

The main thing on my mind is that Beer Trip II is only now seven days away. And really, that’s what I think about most of the time while I’m at work. I have issues, I know.

On ESPN last week they had a “Make-The-Wish” series of stories on “SportsCenter.” They were all a bunch of over-the-top, tug-at-your-heartstring stories (along the lines of “Extreme Home Makeover”), where a kid gets to spend a day with some athlete like Tracey McGrady at Tracy McGrady’s house and play in Tracy McGrady’s personal indoor basketball court with a painting of Tracy McGrady on the court or play PlayStation basketball as Tracy McGrady against Tracy McGrady. Anyway, they had stories about kids with cancer who got to spend time with these athletes, and at one point, the narrator said about the kid with leukemia who was getting pitching tips from Roger Clemens, “This was more than he could ever wish for!” Really? Playing catch with Clemens is more than a kid with leukemia could wish for? Hmm…I would have thought wishing to have his leukemia cured would be more of a big deal, but I didn’t realize that having leukemia was okay if you got to play catch with a seven-time Cy Young Award winner because of it. I had no idea hanging out with Roger Clemens would make it actually worth having leukemia. Lucky kid. Oh, and there was another story where a kid got to hang out with Kobe Bryant, but I didn’t see it. So I can’t tell you if Kobe showed the kid how to have “rough sex” with an emotionally unstable teenager. Sorry about that.

Yeah, I saw where Lance Bass said he was gay, and really, I have nothing to add to that. Mainly because I’m just so surprised. I would never have seen that coming. Ever.

Well, I’ll try again to be better about this site. I know, I suck. I’ll work on it though. As best as I can.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Maybe Jolie Is Related To Hans Gruber?

It’s not often that I wake up and remember my dream, but today I did. Or at least a part of it I remember. It was a really strange one too. Basically, I was kidnapped by Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie (who had bad acne and weird scars, by the way), and their cronies, and they forced me to go to an amusement park and into the back of a roller coaster. Although, this wasn’t an ordinary roller coaster, or at least not one I had ever seen or heard of before; it was more like a small train compartment without any seats or even a bench in it. It was probably an eight feet by eight feet by eight feet enclosed compartment, and they put me in there with three other people (one guy and two women), all of whom looked familiar yet whose names I never knew. They’re probably people that I’ve seen several times before, like former co-workers or someone who used to play volleyball against me, but basically they were people who I never knew by name. Anyway, they threw us all into this roller coaster compartment, and we all were blind-folded and forced to try to stand on this roller coaster as it spun around and went upside-down and whatever other crazy shit roller coasters do (I couldn’t tell you exactly what this one did because I was blind-folded, remember!!!). So the first time we went around, everything was fine. We all were able to brace ourselves, and it wasn’t that bad. They came in to check on us, and Jolie yelled, “Again!” in some German accent like she was part of the “Die Hard” terrorist crew. So we did it again, and we were fine. Again, the Brangelina gang came to check on us, and apparently we pissed them off by still standing up and being fine. So then they made us do it another time, except this time Jolie told us that we had to do the entire roller coaster three times in a row. Well, this time, some shit happened. Literally. About 20 seconds into it, the other guy lost it and puked. Unfortunately, it was all over me. This started a puking chain reaction like in “Stand by Me.” Surprisingly, I was the last of the group to throw up, which I was sort of proud of because I get motion sickness, and if this were real life, I would have thrown up probably within 30 seconds of the first blind-folded run around the track. Although then things got much worse. One of the women shit her pants because of this (although I’m pretty sure crapping yourself isn’t a result of motion sickness), and for some reason, we all started shitting ourselves. It was pretty fucking gross. Finally, after a while (which was apparently three consecutive runs), they stopped and they checked us out again. All four of us were covered in puke, shit, and bruises, which happened because the vomiting and shitting prevented us from bracing ourselves and we were thrown all over the car smashing into each other and the sides of the car. They brought us out of the roller coaster and removed our blind-folds, and then they all were beaming with pride at what they had done to us. They told us that we were free to go, but we had to walk through the entire amusement park in front of everyone, all of who were laughing at us. Then I woke up.

I am not sure what all this means (although if you’re going to go the Dane Cook route and say that it means I’m gay, I’ve already thought of it). Basically, I just thought it was a fucked up dream, and thought it was cool that this was the dream I actually remembered when I woke up, even if I did puke and shit myself. It is a lot more interesting than some dream where I have no pants or am falling off a cliff, don’t you think? Or maybe I should just quit huffing spray paint before I go to bed.

I hope you have a great weekend. I’ll check in with you next week. Love ya!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Sorry, But...

I am not going to post anything today as I planned, because I am really, really pissed off right now and not in any mood to write what I was going to write. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. I hope you still can find a way to love me. Thanks.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Pray For Me!

I like it when people say that they'll pray for me. It saves me the time.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It Would Have Been Worth Him Doing It If I Would Have Caught Him Doing It

So this weekend I went to a friend’s parents’ lake house (after I worked a game on Saturday night), and we had a really good time. Especially my kid, who loved swimming and playing in a fountain, and throwing a ball into a lake for our friends’ dog. The only thing that wasn’t ideal was listening to the kids listen and watch “The Wiggles” over and over and over again. If I never have to hear “Dorothy the Dinosaur” again, I will be a better person. It was a really fun time swimming with the kids and hanging with friends.

Oh yeah, and someone keyed my car on Saturday night, either at the stadium or the casino (it was dark, so I couldn’t see it at night), so that wasn’t really a good start to my weekend. Actually, it really sucks, as it’s about a four-foot scratch along the side of my car. That was really cool of whoever did that, and I am happy about it. Thanks random asshole!

Well, today has been catching up after being out the last few days, so this is all I have today. Have a great rest of your day.