Elmo Is Much More Annoying
One thing I was warned about by friends and other parents when I became a parent was that I would have to watch a bunch of crappy shows because my kid would love them. And while they were right about that, I don’t really mind them that much, to be honest. Sure, Boohbah is really kinda fucking scary and odd, but my kid just laughs and dances to it, so I’m entertained. But the things I was warned about the most were the Teletubbies. And I gotta tell you, I’m cool with that show. At least for right now. I’m not really a fan of the actual Teletubbies though. I don’t know if you’ve seen the show before, but apparently the Teletubbies can watch TV on their bellies, and they show stupid clips of kids doing stupid things like playing in the sand and picking up rocks. Normally, this would be really boring to me. I mean, I like watching my own kid and kids I know do those things, but not kids I don’t know. Except for on the Teletubbies’ show, these random kids have thick, cockney accents. I love that. “’Ello! I’m ‘Arry!” “’Ello, ‘Arry! I’m EYE-sha!” I am fascinated by toddlers from the UK talking. Fascinated! I could listen to a tape of them talking for hours. When I hear about people who go over to Asia to adopt a kid, I think to myself that that’s a really good thing, but I could never do that. I’m just too selfish. I would have to get something out of it besides the love of a child. If I were ever going to adopt a child, I think I would go over to London and adopt some two-to-four year old British kid. Not only would that kid get a nice home with loving parents, but more importantly, I’d get a kid who made me giggle when he or she asked to “go to the lou.” Because really, that’s what parenting is all about.