How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Vote YES Or Die!!!

Here in the Kansas City Metro area, there are a lot of political ads on TV and radio right now about passing a bill in Jackson County, Missouri, to raise the sales tax to “Save Our Stadiums” or “Save Our Teams”. Basically the residents of Jackson County will have a sales tax added to fund renovations to Kaufmann and Arrowhead Stadium and build a rolling roof that will go over both stadiums. Well, the teams are really pulling out all the stops to get these taxes passed. The first thing that was announced was that the NFL will have Super Bowl 49 at Arrowhead Stadium, but only if the bill passes. Then it was announced that by Major League Baseball that the Kansas City Royals would get to host an All-Star game between 2010 and 2014, but again, only if the vote was passed for the taxpayers to foot the majority of the bill by the sales tax increase. Well, today, they are going to announce that Kansas City and Arrowhead Stadium will host a future NCAA Men’s Final Four, but yes, only if the stadiums get renovated with the rolling roof, all contingent all the passing of the tax bill.

Now for me, I don’t live in Jackson County and rarely shop in Jackson County, so the higher sales tax isn’t going to effect me much. I’d much rather they build a downtown stadium for the Royals, but really, I have no say. But what I do find funny is all the things that are being promised to Jackson County if the bill passes. Now these are only rumors, but I’ve also heard the following things were going to be promised to Jackson County if the voters vote to raise the sales tax:

• The White House, Senate, and Supreme Court will be moving to Independence, MO, if the rolling roof portion of the vote happens.
• Brangelina will move to KC and even adopt three Jackson County orphans if the bill passes.
• Research Medical Center will discover a cure for AIDS by 2015, but only if Arrowhead and Kaufmann Stadiums get more luxury suites.
• Osama bin Laden will turn himself in, but only if the bill passes and they have a restaurant at the stadiums that will be open 365 days a year.
• Kaufmann Stadium will get to host Scott Peterson’s execution.
• The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art will get custody of the Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, Van Gogh’s Sunflowers, Monet’s Waterlillies, and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

So basically, the citizens of Jackson County would be morons to not vote “YES” on April 4th!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Midas Mufflers: 1956-2006?

I didn’t mention this yesterday, but two things crossed my mind when I watched the NCAA tournament this past weekend and they kept showing the Midas commercial with Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble:

1. If anyone ever needed proof that evolution is a fact, just look at Fred’s and Barney’s feet when they show Fred’s “brakes”. They each have three toes on each foot. Millions of years later, we have five toes on each feet (most of us at least, with the exception of those in farming accidents who have less and Antonio Alfonseca who has six on each). That’s evolution, baby!

2. How pissed do you think Midas is to have one of the two moron guys from the Sonic commercials as a Midas employee in their commercial? They have to be irate. I mean, the chances of me going to Midas have decreased ten-fold since I noticed that. You’d think that they’d have done a better background check on that guy, but obviously they didn’t. If Midas goes bankrupt in the next few months, I think we’ll all know why.

That’s all that’s on my mind today.

Monday, March 20, 2006

My Weekend

Um, yeah, so Kansas lost. I’m okay with it. They had a better than expected season, so I am not too down about it. I did think that they were going to roll Bradley, but instead they played horrible and lost. Oh well. So quit bringing it up to me!!!

Yesterday, since my parents are in town and we actually had someone to watch the kid, I took my wife to see a movie. And since there really wasn’t anything out that I wanted to see, I decided to be a good husband and let her choose the movie. The movie she chose was “Failure to Launch”, and it sucked. It was the same crappy movie as most of the chick flicks are, with the exception of the ending. And the ending was the same as all chick movies, except in this case it was just much, much, much, much worse. It was the worst ending to a movie that I can think of. I’m just warning you, do not see that movie.

The worst thing about the NCAA tournament is the commercials. It’s not so much that the commercials are bad (which they are), but they show the same ones over and over again. If I never see the Sonic guys, that Applebee’s shrimp commercial with the “Gilligan’s Island” song, the Burger King commercial with the “Big Buckin’ Chicken”, and the State Farm commercial with the guy with the body paint again, I will be a much better person.

“The Sopranos” was bad last night. One hour (commercial free!!!) with nothing happening. I really hope they don’t keep dragging out the coma shit. It is turning into “The O.C.” for me. I don’t know how much longer of it I can take

Have a great week!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I Bet Tony Lives

Hey guys. How’s it going? Sorry about no posting yesterday. I’ve been kinda busy. I know you understand, and I appreciate it. I had a pretty good weekend. On Friday night I didn’t do anything. On Saturday, a friend and his wife came in town, and they are beer dorks like I am, so Timmy, Caddylac, and I met them in the afternoon at the Boulevard Brewery for a tour. The tour was okay, but I was mildly amused because the tour guide had obviously been drinking some beer for a few hours. They don’t serve any samples until the tour is over, but he had his full glass before the start of the tour and seemed to be well on his way at the end of it. He seemed to know the basics of the tour, but when Caddylac asked him what hops they used in their Pale Ale, he had no idea. I only had two of the five-ounce samples of their “test beer”, an India Pale Ale called “Zeus” which was the best Boulevard beer I’ve ever tasted, because I was driving. But it still was interesting. After the tour we all went to McCoy’s Public House for some more beers and to watch the KU-Nebraska basketball game (which KU won). We had a pretty good time, and then we parted ways for a few hours so we could go home and see our families. Later that night, we again met them up at the 75th Street Brewery for some more beers until about 11PM when we all were pretty tired. I had a great time, they were really cool people, and I’m sure well be meeting up with them again sometime soon.

On Sunday, I didn’t do much besides avoid tornadoes and watch basketball. I was pretty happy to see KU win the Big 12 Championship, so I was in a good mood. That night I watched the season premiere of “The Sopranos” and was pretty underwhelmed, even with the “shocking” ending. The main problem for me with “The Sopranos” is the same problem I have with “Entourage”. So many people love these shows. And I like these shows. But out of a typical ten-episode season, they both have one terrible episode, two bad episodes, three so-so episodes, two good ones, one great episode, and one outstanding episode. “Entourage” is really like this. Probably the best episode of any show that I’ve seen in a long time is the “Entourage” where Ari gets fired. It was awesome on so many levels. It was hilarious in parts, dramatic in others, and all-in-all 25 minutes of entertainment. But then they’d have episodes after that which focused on Vince dating Mandy Moore and they sucked for the most part, besides an occasional Johnny Drama or Turtle remark. The latest episode of “The Sopranos” was a “so-so” one, in my opinion. And they’ll have one episode that will be so good that everyone will give them a free pass on the next few ones after that that are below-average. It happens every season. I just hope this year they make more of the good ones and less of the shitty ones.

Well, have a good one.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

You have so many relationships in this life,
But only one or two will last.
You go through all the pain and strife,
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast.

Oh yeah. they're gone so fast.

Oh, so hold on to the ones who really care,
In the end they'll be the only ones there.
When you get old and start losing your hair,
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care? oh care.

Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do.

Oh yeah, in an mmmbop they're gone. yeah.

Plant a seed, plant a flower,
Plant a rose, you can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows.
It's a secret no one knows.
It's a secret no one knows.
Oh, no one knows.

Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do.

Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Just Checking In

I’m not sure what to write about. I’m pretty boring, and I don’t have a lot of exciting things going on (at least nothing that would be exciting to read). I will try to have more soon, but stories of shitty weather and sick kids aren’t gonna interest anyone.


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Quick Kid Story

I try not to do this very often, but I just thought this was a funny story about my kid. Yesterday my wife was off of work and stayed home with my son, and we decided to meet at McDonald’s for lunch so he could play in the play area after eating. So we finish eating and he’s playing, being a knucklehead like always. There’s this older kid there, probably about five or so, and he starts climbing up the slide. The kid’s mom runs over and tells the kid to get down. The kid continues to climb up the slide, and the mom yells, “Conner, don’t make me count to three!” The kid stopped, but didn’t come down. Then the lady yelled, “Conner! One!” Then my son ran over to the lady and said, “Two, three!” My wife and I started cracking up, as my kid loves to count, and even the lady couldn’t help but laugh. Even her kid started laughing and then came down the slide. I think my boy will had a great future as a negotiator.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Moral Of "Crash" Is That Racism Is Bad

So, did ya have a good weekend? Mine was pretty good. On Friday night I did very little. I played with the boy, put him to bed, watched “The Soup”, and went to bed. On Saturday, I went to Manhattan, Kansas, to go to the Little Apple Brewery and the KU/K-State basketball game. Both brewery and game were great. The beers and food were really good, and besides the slow service, we had a really good time. The game was fun, as KU won by 14. The K-State fans were pretty cool (although the ones behind us weren’t the most knowledgeable) and no one got in any fights or had any problems. For me, I think the highlight of the day was seeing three different guys wearing purple K-State zubaz as I walked in the parking lot. That was pretty sweet.

Yesterday was a nice, lazy day. We watched “Crash” yesterday afternoon, and I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t hate the movie, but it wasn’t “powerful” like critics had been hailing it. I felt like it was basically like an anti-racism TV movie with big name actors, a few swear words, and a brief tit shot. They could have made the same movie with Melissa Gilbert, John Schneider, Lea Thompson, and Dean Cain, put it on ABC Family, and it would have been the same movie to me. But maybe that’s just me.

Last night we had dinner and watched the Oscars at the in-laws’ house. I was mildly pleased the Jon Stewart referred to “Walk the Line” as “‘Ray’ with white people” since I wrote that the other week. I thought Stewart was pretty good, and the political-styled campaign commercials were pretty solid. We had a little pool there, and I did well even though I didn’t pick the Best Director or Best picture correctly. I kinda thought “Crash” would win, but after being so underwhelmed with it yesterday, I picked the gay cowboy movie instead. I was happy that Rachel Weisz won for “The Constant Gardener” (one of the few movies I did see) and Phillip Seymour Hoffman won for “Capote”. I was disappointed that the Academy didn’t remember Don Knotts when they paid tribute to those who passed away in the past year. Oh well. The show was under four hours, so I’ll get over it. All in all, it was a good night (I got to see my less than a week old niece!).

That was my weekend. Pretty amazing, huh? Talk to you later.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Elmo Is Much More Annoying

One thing I was warned about by friends and other parents when I became a parent was that I would have to watch a bunch of crappy shows because my kid would love them. And while they were right about that, I don’t really mind them that much, to be honest. Sure, Boohbah is really kinda fucking scary and odd, but my kid just laughs and dances to it, so I’m entertained. But the things I was warned about the most were the Teletubbies. And I gotta tell you, I’m cool with that show. At least for right now. I’m not really a fan of the actual Teletubbies though. I don’t know if you’ve seen the show before, but apparently the Teletubbies can watch TV on their bellies, and they show stupid clips of kids doing stupid things like playing in the sand and picking up rocks. Normally, this would be really boring to me. I mean, I like watching my own kid and kids I know do those things, but not kids I don’t know. Except for on the Teletubbies’ show, these random kids have thick, cockney accents. I love that. “’Ello! I’m ‘Arry!” “’Ello, ‘Arry! I’m EYE-sha!” I am fascinated by toddlers from the UK talking. Fascinated! I could listen to a tape of them talking for hours. When I hear about people who go over to Asia to adopt a kid, I think to myself that that’s a really good thing, but I could never do that. I’m just too selfish. I would have to get something out of it besides the love of a child. If I were ever going to adopt a child, I think I would go over to London and adopt some two-to-four year old British kid. Not only would that kid get a nice home with loving parents, but more importantly, I’d get a kid who made me giggle when he or she asked to “go to the lou.” Because really, that’s what parenting is all about.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I Am Really Sad. How Could She Do That To Me?!?!?

Sorry. It’s been a rough week, and I didn’t feel well and I didn’t feel like writing. Plus my kid is sick, so that just adds to it. I was actually really proud of myself as he threw up on me and I didn’t even freak out. I would have imagined that I would have. I’m kind of a sissy, you know. Anyway, let’s see what’s been going on in the life of Fisty lately.

It’s been a baby boom among my friends. The wives of my friends DJ, Smitty, and Doncock all had baby girls the latter part of February. Three of my best friends had kids within two weeks of each other! That’s kinda crazy. Plus another friend of mine at work I think had a baby today, so this is kinda nuts. Luckily, they all are healthy, so I’m very happy for them.

I saw “Capote” on Saturday, and I thought it was really good. I’m would be fine with Philip Seymour Hoffman winning the Best Actor Oscar as he was pretty solid.

Yes, I’ve heard the story about how Julie Newmar was on “According to Jim”, and I have to say, I am seriously heartbroken. I am really, really sad. What happened? I thought she hated him! Really, I don’t have much more to add. This is just a really sad day now. I’m gonna go cry.