How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

I Don't Use The Whitening Toothpaste Down There Though

Yesterday some people were outside my cube and they were talking about anal bleaching. Apparently porn stars are having their anuses bleached so that they’re not brown when they show anal close-ups. I was sitting at my cube working very hard as usual when this discussion was taking place, and someone asked me if I did it. I told them, “I do, but I do it for me only. I don’t do that for anyone else.” Then I told them, “And I don’t go anywhere to get it done professionally, either. I just use Crest White Strips.” I think my new co-workers already love me.

My wife is in Miami right now for work, but I talked to her last night when I was done with bowling. We didn’t talk about anything really important, but she did tell me that she really liked Ace Young from “American Idol” and thinks he’ll go far. I didn’t see him on the show, but I know he’ll go far too. Just because of his name, which I’m sure is made up. It just sounds like a rock star name. I wish my parents would have named me “Ace”.

I’m glad that Kid Rock is suing to block the release of his porno with Scott Stapp and skanky groupies. Because I was considering doing the same, just to prevent the world from ever having to see that. I’m pretty sure I’d have gotten some award for that. I’d be a hero. I mean, I don’t even like the idea that something like this even exists, so someone has to stop. God Bless you, Bob Ritchie!

So, uh, yeah…I’ll, um, talk to you later.


  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Maidink said…

    Whew, and I thought it was a porno of Rock on Stapp. How wrong was I?!

    It was worse.

    Now I have a mental image of underweight groupie skanks slobbing those two and thinking that is the pinnacle of their life.

    I have to go be sick.

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger eatmisery said…

    Toothpaste on your anus? Ewwww..... I guess it keeps it minty fresh. Heh...


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