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Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

"Quit Touching My Face!!!"

When I last left you, I was going to sleep drunk on Wednesday night. Or “passing out” is probably a better way to describe it. Anyway, I woke up not feeling very well the next day. No vomiting, but it wasn’t far off. I made Timmy drive to our first stop of the day, the Great Waters Brewing Company in Saint Paul, MN, where we had lunch and another round of samplers. Did I mention that I was feeling like shit? Well, I ordered a hamburger because it seemed like the best bet for my stomach. I was wrong. Whenever I order meat, I always order it well-done. Well, this hamburger was very pink, almost red. It was pretty gross. Unfortunately, I don’t remember if I ordered it well-done or not, and I was in no mood to argue or send something back. Plus, I wasn’t really all that hungry. They had an eight-beer sampler, although they only had seven different kinds of beer that day. So the bartender came up to us and said that we could have the eighth beer be a half pint of which ever beer we liked most (for me, it was the I.P.A.). That was pretty cool of him, so I was happier with the place. Also, I took a nice crap while I was there, so that was making me feel better. And for the first time in my life, the “hair of the dog” method worked for me. As we paid our bill and left, I actually felt pretty good. I was shocked, actually. I didn’t feel sick, drunk, or even buzzed. I just felt normal, which was perfect. Unfortunately, the weather wasn’t so good. It poured almost the entire three-hour trip to our next stop, the Moosejaw Pizza and Brewing Company in Wisconsin Dells, WI, which from the outside looks like the Branson of the Great Lakes region. The building was a cool, huge, log cabin looking building. We were one of the few people in the place, which again was huge so it seemed weird, and we ordered another sampler and a pizza. The sampler included ten beers, my favorite being the Kilbourn Hop Ale. The pizza was really fucking good. I don’t know if it was because I ate very little beforehand, but it was one of the best pizzas I’d ever had, and I’m not that big of a fan of thin-crust pizzas.

After Moosejaw, we drove to our hotel in Madison, WI, before heading to the Capitol Brewing Company in Middleton, WI. Capital didn’t have food. They were just a brewery with a beer garden. At first, Timmy and I were both disappointed as not only was it raining and there was little space under that canopy to stand (and nowhere to sit), but they didn’t serve samplers. They had five beers on tap, and they cost $3.50 a piece for them. I found that to be a little steep for a brewery, but luckily the beers were really good. With the exception of their Brown Ale, which had a cardboard aftertaste, their beers were probably the best we had on the trip. The Fest Beer was my fave. It eventually stopped raining, and Timmy and I sat at a picnic table bullshitting and listening to the music. It’s there that I found out Timmy used to be roommates with the brother of my wife’s ex-boyfriends, which was pretty odd. The beer garden was only open until 9 PM, so it was winding down when one of the brewers walked by and asked how I was doing (Timmy was taking one of his 37 pisses during the two hours we were there). I told him that I was having a good time, and I was a big fan of their place and beers. He asked, “Have you never been here before?” I told him that I hadn’t, and then told him about our trip. He, much like the guys at Olde Main, was pretty intrigued by this. We talked for a few minutes, and as Timmy came back the guy told us to have a good, safe trip. Then about five minutes later, about 8:55 PM, he sat down next to us and handed us each a beer. He said, “Since you guys aren’t going to be around for the big beer fest this weekend, I brought you the first glasses of our Oktoberfest Beer that we’re unveiling at it on Saturday. You’re the first two non-Capital workers having it!” I thought that was pretty cool, and that beer was by far the best beer I had on the trip so far. It was awesome. We talked for a couple more minutes, thanked him again, and he walked away. He came back a couple minutes later and gave us each a half-glass of what he called their “Double Oktoberfest”, which had more alcohol content and flavor to it. He said that they only had one batch of it, and it was only for the employees of Capital and their friends, and he actually apologized for only giving us a half-glass. That half-glass was one of the best beers I’d ever had in my life. After that, we were feeling pretty good, so we called the cab company and went back to the hotel. When we were dropped off, Timmy decided to have a smoke, and I went inside to grab one of my jugs of beer and a couple of glasses and join him out front because there were a bunch of people standing there. I was wearing my t-shirt that said “Kansas” on it, and as I step outside, before I even get to Timmy, this young couple asked me, “Are you from Kansas?” I said, “Well, that’s where I live now.” The girl responded, “Cool! I’m from Oklahoma and he’s from Arkansas!” I said something to the effect of “Wow, my state touches your state!” or something sarcastic like that, until I was interrupted by a 60-year-old woman who said, “You look just like that one famous actor!” Now I’ve only been told that I look like one person ever, and it had happened twice before. So I guessed, “Brendan Fraser?” “Yes!” she yelped. She kept telling me how I looked just like him in the face, which I think is not true, but at least she didn’t say I looked like Edward James Olmos. Then she walked up to me and started touching my face. I stepped back, and then she told two Indian guys to come over and look at me closer. These guys had no idea what she was talking about, but accommodated her because she was really drunk and, I assume, really rich. Eventually, hotel security told us to go to the back of the hotel, which Timmy, the old lady, the two Indian guys, and I did. I offered the others some of my beer from the jug, and the old lady, who was really starting to get annoying and scary to me, told me that she only drinks wine. She offered me some, and I’m not sure if it was me just being drunk and stupid or if it was me wanting her to go inside and call it a night, but I pounded it. She was kinda shocked at that, and then went inside to get more. That’s when Timmy and I decided that this was our best chance to bolt, and we left to go inside and called it a night.

Damn, that was a long entry for one day. And probably not that interesting. I will try to have more for you either later today or tomorrow, but work is piling up, so I’m not sure when that will happen. Have a great day.


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