How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Just Me Whining

Yesterday after work was a fucking headache. The plan was for me to go home, pick up the dogs and take them to my in-laws’ house, pick up my son, help clean the house, and then take him and my brother somewhere that wasn’t my house so my wife could host a jewelry party. Well, I left work and starting driving home. Over half way home, there was a detour. I took the detour, but there was no detour sign after the first one, so I had to guess where to turn. Well, my first two choices were wrong, but the third finally worked. So I got home, and my brother earlier found out that his van won’t start. So I tried to jump start it, but it didn’t work. My wife was home cleaning at that time, so I asked her to call a tow truck for Geek Brick and then I took the dogs to the in-laws. It took me about 15 minutes to drive a mile and a half on the road leading to the interstate, which was a real fucking blast. My dogs weren’t the biggest fans of that, but I’m just glad they don’t get motion sickness. I dropped the dogs off and then drove to pick up my kid. I got him, and he was all snotty. Literally, as he had a runny nose. He was still in a great mood like he almost always is. So I drove home from the babysitter, and it sucked. Normally, only the first three main routes home have been blocked off. Well yesterday, you can add routes four and five, which all were new this week. So I took number five, and the detour wasn’t noticeable until halfway down the path, and then it was a dead end. So I had to turn around, sit at a light for two and a half minutes with a slowly-beginning-to-get-fussy kid and then drive home. It took about twice as long as normal, but I guess the good news is that when I got home the cleaning was pretty much done. I got stuff ready to take him over to Mr. C.’s to feed him and let him fall asleep there, and the tow truck got there as I was getting all that ready. The truck left, we went over, and I was starting to feed him when I noticed that I didn’t have a sippy-cup for him. I tried to get him to drink from a cup, and then tried to see if he’d use a straw, but no luck. Eventually I just used the straw as a dropper, and that worked for a little bit until he decided that he just liked letting the milk drool from his mouth instead. Finally he finished, and then we played in the living room until he went to bed. But before he went to bed, he did the cutest little thing. He was staring, at a grape. It was great.

I don’t get how women can have their little jewelry parties, or Mary Kay parties, or food parties, or candle parties, or whatever. I don’t have a problem with them having them. Two of my sisters-in-law do them. But I just know that guys couldn’t get away with it. I also don’t know what guys would try to sell other guys. Tools, maybe? Fireworks? Alcohol would maybe work, but there are too many liquor laws that it would make it impossible. Maybe guns. But that would be a bad idea, because you’d have to have beer or wine since it’s a “party”, and that might cause some problems.

So my wife was the hostess of the jewelry party, and apparently the hostess gets free jewelry for hosting it. I did a lot to help her get ready for this, like help clean the house, get the dogs out, and watch my son. So my wife was thanking me, and she asked if I needed a new money clip. I don’t, but that was sweet of her to offer. I think that was probably the only thing in the catalog for men, or at least straight men. Or maybe just for me, since I don’t have an earring, I don’t wear necklaces, and I already have a watch which I usually only wear fall through spring anyway. So I told her I didn’t need the money clip, but thanks. I asked if they had anything else in there that I might want, and she said, “Probably not.” I then said, “Not even a cock ring?” She told me no, so I just sulked and went to bed. Sniff.

Well, have a great weekend. Toodles!


  • At 7:46 AM, Anonymous Doncock said…

    Hey Fisty....I'll stare at grapes with ya.

  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger justrose said…

    a fireworks man party! HAHAHAHAHAHA! what would be in a man catalog? speed stick? soap-on-a-rope? microbrews? deerhead plaques? poker chips? action figures?

    ... i think you might be on to some kind of alternative amway gig. there's a market. i'm certain of it.

  • At 10:56 AM, Blogger eatmisery said…

    What about a man-party that involves sports equipment or cigars?

  • At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What about a man party that involves hookers and drugs????

    Mr. C

  • At 6:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pink Ladee-
    I just like the expression Man Party. It's kind of awesome.

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