How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Maybe "Dewberry" Will Be A Character in the "Revenge of the Nerds" Remake

We watched “Hell’s Kitchen” last night, and I have to say that I’m disappointed. Not so much by the content of the show though. I mean, it’s basically the same concept as all of the other competition reality shows. Teams complete, one team loses, and they kick someone off that team. The winner gets their own restaurant or a gravy boat or something. But what sucks about this is that they kicked the token gay guy off the show last night, and he was easily the most entertaining character on the show. Not so much because of his flaming tendencies or his skill with the cucumber, although that definitely helped. He was the most entertaining character mainly because his name was Dewberry. Every time I heard someone say, “Dewberry!” or see his name on the screen, it made me giggle like a stoned 13-year-old girl on the telephone. Dewberry. Dewberry sounds like the name of some nerd from an ‘80s college sex romp on Spring Break. Like four buddies head to Panama Beach to let loose for a week of debauchery: there’s Brock, the suave jock-type guy who gets it on with all the honeys, including his physics professors wife the night before they leave; there’s Snatch, the odd-looking party animal who’s always wearing a shirt that says something like “F.B.I. Female Body Inspector” or “Mustache Rides: $1” who calls Dewberry “Dewby”; Randy, the normal guy who is the morale center of the movie who falls in love with some lifeguard or housekeeper; and then of course Dewberry, the fat dork who lives in the dorm and who’s only there because he’s got a car and his dad’s credit card. Dewberry from “Hell’s Kitchen” would pretty much fit the stereotype, except he also loves the cock. And he got kicked off the show, and the douchebag chef called him a coward! Sure, he was right, but still! Poor, poor Dewberry. And poor viewers, as we won’t be able to see him on the show any longer. But at least we’ll have our memories. And a potential DVD release, possibly with bonus Dewberry footage!!!

I decided last week that I’m going to go on a little trip this summer. You see, next week my wife is going to Mexico City to see our friend who lives there, and I’ll be home with the kiddo. So I’ll have some extra vacation time that I can’t use with her, so I figure I need to make a trip to see some buddies that I don’t see that often. So being the beer dork that I am, sometime in August (probably the 10th-14th) I’m going to drive up to see my friend Rory in Minnesota and then to see my friends in Wisconsin, and along the way I’m going to stop at different breweries/brewpubs to try some beers. Right now, the plan is for me to leave on a Wednesday morning, stop at a brewpub in Ames, IA, for lunch and then drive to on to Rochester to hang out with Rory that night. The next morning, I’ll drive to Winona, MN (where my parents met), and stop for lunch at the brewpub there. After lunch, I might stop at a brewpub in Wisconsin Falls where I’ll probably just sample a few beers (and get some to go) before driving to Madison for dinner at yet another brewpub and crashing at a hotel for the night. The next day, I will go to another brewpub in Madison for lunch before heading to the New Glarus Brewing Company in New Glarus, WI, which is considered one of the top breweries in the country. I might hang out there for a while, before heading to my old hometown to hang out with my buds (or whoever will let me crash at their place). On Saturday, I want to go tour the Sprecher Brewery and maybe even Miller (which I’ve never done) and hang out with my pals. Maybe even have dinner at the Brewpub in Whitewater, WI, which is the closest one to where I grew up and that I’ve heard is pretty good. Then on Sunday, I’ll head back home, while stopping along the way for lunch in the Quad Cities, the most magical place in the world, and then an early dinner in Des Moines before coming home. If I do all that, I will have gone to eleven breweries in five days, quite a remarkable feat, although odds are that I might miss one or two of those. Where did I come up with this idea, you ask? That movie “American Beer” that I wrote about last month, where five guys go to 38 breweries in 40 days. Well, I don’t have 40 days where I can do this, but I think I have three vacation days to use. I also don’t think that I have four friends who’d want to do this (or want to use their vacation days for it, can get away for those days, or want to spend five days with me, which is very understandable), but maybe some of them would be up for it or want to join me for part of it in Minnesota or Wisconsin. I’m kinda hoping that one or two guys will want to do this with me, but I’m okay if they don’t. I think I’ll still have fun, and I’ll probably be extra careful if I’m alone. I’m most likely going to bring my video camera with me and hopefully interview some of the brewers, owners, and patrons and maybe make a little movie out of it. Or at least have some interesting and funny footage for my friends to watch. Feel free to make fun of me in the comments below or chatter box to the right. I do realize that I am a huge dork. I can’t argue that.


  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger eatmisery said…

    I'll be in Minocqua, WI next week. Three words: Minocqua Brewing Company. Very yummy! Ever been there?

  • At 3:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm down for beer.


  • At 3:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    No popcorn though.


  • At 3:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Popcorn beer that is, popcorn is ok.


  • At 7:13 AM, Blogger Fist Tickle Brick said…

    I've never been to the Minocquoa Brewing Company. Sounds like a good place. I may have to check it out on my trip.

    I agree Six, the popcorn beer is the worst thing I've ever tasted.


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