How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I Was Hoping It Was Gonna Be Diane Sawyer.

Maybe I’m a conspiracy theorist, but I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that the first business day after Paris Hilton’s engagement is announced the true identity of “Deep Throat” is revealed. If Woodward and Bernstein weren’t already involved in this story, I’d ask them to look into this. Especially since Linda Lovelace wasn’t their source, which I couldn’t believe. Something awfully fishy about this whole thing, and I’m not just talking about Hilton’s vag smell.

I hate Rob Deer. He’s a fucking asshole. You see, this past weekend he went to what I refer to as “America’s Wonderland”, Moline, Illinois. Before he went to the “Happiest Place on Earth”, he asked me if I wanted him to pick me up of jug of the Quad Cities’ finest beer to bring back to me. I told him, “Sure,” and I gave him $15 to pick one up and possibly a pint glass from the brewpub he was going to go to. All weekend I was so excited, anticipating that delicious malted treat from the greatest Quad City Area in the Universe hitting the back of my throat, loosening my morals, and severely impairing my common sense. So what happens when I come into work yesterday? Rob Deer tells me that he didn’t get it for me. He said, “Blah, blah, blah. I’m a fucking tool. I didn’t get it for you because the growler cost $40.” What a fucking prick! What kind of douchebag friend wouldn’t spend an additional $25 of their own money to buy their friend an extremely overpriced growler of beer that goes at most other places for $8-$15 and would sit in their basement collecting dust and cobwebs after drinking it? The answer: Rob “Douchebag” Deer. Seriously, how big of an A-hole is this guy? I hate him.

Um, I guess that’s all I’ve got today. I'm still a little upset about the whole liar Rob Deer thing.

2 Comments:

  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I always wondered where Neverland Ranch was, thanks Brick.

    Six

     
  • At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i was practically in the quad cities over the weekend. i would have been happy to pick you up some overpriced beer if you were really that desperate to have some.

    swirl

     

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