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Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Greatest Present Ever Given!

Today at work we have my group’s picnic. Kinda funny how it’s so close to our group’s team-builder last week. Anyway, we had a group meeting yesterday where my co-workers were complaining about having to go to these things. They made comments like “I’m too busy to do this!” or “I really need to stay at my desk and get work done!” To be honest with you, I really think they just want to make it seem like they are hard workers and have people feel sorry for them when in actuality they just look like assholes. These things aren’t options; it’s part of the fucking job. I hate it when people complain about having to go to them, especially when going to a park is a lot more fun than being in the office. Even if the weather is shitty.

This weekend should be interesting. I need to give Doncock his Christmas present sometime. Yes, I said Christmas present. I ordered his present on my birthday (November 7th) and it said that it could take six-to-ten weeks to get it (Christmas being about seven weeks after my b-day). So when I ordered it, I was thinking the best case scenario was going to be that I’d get it just before Christmas, or worst case I’d get it soon thereafter. Well, I was mistaken. I received it yesterday. June 9th. That would be seven months and two days to get it. I had sent various emails to the company to get this item, but they had a problem. I will explain more after I give him the present, as I don’t want to ruin the surprise. And I don’t want to build up this present too much and give him huge expectations, but I have to tell you: it is the greatest present that anyone has ever given anyone else at any time for any reason in the history of the world. But I don’t want to build it up too much.

Also this weekend, I get to work a soccer game. I know, not that exciting. But there’s more. We got an email from my boss this week who said that there’s going to be a women’s football game (football, not soccer) after the match. When I’ve told people this, they acted like this was going to be something really sexy to watch, like the Lingerie Bowl that they have Super Bowl Sunday. Um, not quite. Not only am I expecting the football action to be about as competitive as a middle school boys game (I’m not trying to be sexist, but I really do believe that will be the case), but the women who are playing aren’t really (how shall I say this?) anywhere close to being doable even after three cases of beer, a dozen shots, a lobotomy, and spending 20 years in prison. When Ron Mexico and I went to the UMKC basketball game back in March, they had players there trying to get people to sign up for tickets. You would think that they’d probably have their prettiest women there to recruit potential season ticket holders. Well, if that was the case, then I’m guessing three-fourths of the players will look like a cross between Camryn Manheim and Jabba the Hut, because the two that they had there looked like Shirley from “What’s Happening!” and Louie Anderson. Also, the name of the team is the Crunch. But I’m pretty sure it’s actually C’r’unch’. You know, a contraction for CaRpetmUNCHers. Not that that’s a problem. I’m just pretty sure that’s the case.

Well, have a great week. I love you.


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