How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Fist Tickle Brick In!

I’m a little down today. You see, last night my wife went out with some people from her school (the one she graduated from), and got home around 9:15 PM or so. So she started watching “American Idol” (which she TiVo’d), and I, being the great husband that I am, decided to suffer through it and watch it with her. I told her I was doing it for two reasons: one, because I hadn’t seen her all day; and two, because I wanted to hear “Seacrest out!” at the end because it makes me laugh. So we watched the show, and my wife mentioned to me that ever since I wrote about it, they’ve been calling Vonzell “Vonzie” a lot (I fucking knew Seacrest was reading this!). I noticed that they said it several times too. Well, the show was rough for me, especially when the blonde sang that Air Supply song. I actually reclined on the couch and told my wife that I felt like I was about to get my teeth drilled in the dentist’s office. It was brutal, and I think that song is on every time I go to the dentist, which is probably why I don’t go every six months like I’m supposed to. I did actually laugh out loud once, when Paula told someone that they were “a gift”. They should release a condensed version of “American Idol” on cable with just Paula’s comments and showing her when she’s dancing during the singers’ performances. Because that shit is gold. (Ah, Gold. Remember her from “American Gladiators”? I loved her and I miss her. Er, sorry about that. I lost myself for a minute. Okay, I’m back.) So the show was going on and on and on, and after Vonzie, the two-time drug offender, and the blonde who looks like Lisa Marie Presley (to me, at least) were done, I was anticipating the highlight of the show. They showed all the numbers to call and text message, and as Seacrest was wrapping it all up, my wife stopped the show and erased it, right before “Seacrest out!” I was devastated. Absolutely devastated. That was a major part of what got me through the Dionne Warwick, Shania Twain, and the previously mentioned Air Supply crap. But then it was taken away from me like Macaulay Culkin’s anal virginity by Wacko Jacko. She apologized profusely, and I know that it’ll be said again tonight. But I just don’t think I can sit through all that again. The pain is just too much.

You know at first I really thought that the clip from yesterday’s entry was a porno movie scene. Instead, it was just an awesome video with great music, dancing, and lip-syncing. Consider that a gift from me.

That’s all I got. What more do you want? Is anyone even still reading this? Brick out!


  • At 5:41 PM, Blogger eatmisery said…

    You didn't miss Seacrest saying his famous line because he didn't say it! I think he said "Seacrest, Good Night." I can't remember it exactly, but I know he didn't say "Seacrest, out!" I, too, wait only for that because I think it's so cheesy. Last night, I couldn't believe he didn't say it.

  • At 6:28 PM, Blogger justrose said…

    I gave up after the Reuben/Clay season, but man, I would've done anything to hear Air Supply again. I saw them in concert-in-the-round when I was 11, and I was lost in love. It was my first concert before the Kiss "Animalize" tour in '84.

    Now I only hear Air Supply during root canal, you're right.

    Justrose out.

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