How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose!

Hmm…yesterday was a long ass day. I’ve been getting slammed at work the past couple of weeks, and not in a good Demi Moore in “Disclosure” kind of way. And this isn’t directed at anyone who reads this blog, but so many people have been bothering me at my cubical lately, telling me stupid stories about stupid shit. I’m a pretty nice guy, and I go along with them, but it’s really starting to get annoying. I normally wouldn’t care that much, but it’s just that there have been so many of them lately. “Hey Fisty, let me tell you about my pants.” “The waiter was so bad, Fisty. They brought me a Diet Coke instead of a regular one!” Shit like that. I JUST WANT TO WORK PEOPLE!!! Well, I really don’t, but I need to. Fucking jobs!

True story: Yesterday at work, I was in my cube working, and someone was asking the girl who sits behind me a question. The girl said, “Well who am I gonna call?” and this guy peaks out of his cube and said, “Ghostbusters!” He thought that was hilarious. In 1984, maybe a week after the movie and song came out, that was probably mildly funny. Mildly. But twenty-one years later?!?!? Really fucking weak. So now I’m preparing myself for other comments that I expect to come out in the coming months. I’m bracing myself to hear other dated catch-phrases like “Kiss my grits!” “Sit on it!” and “Quit licking my ball sack, ALF!”

My wife gets “People Magazine”, and one of the recent covers there was a side story about Mariah Carey that said “How I Changed My Look!” I didn’t read the article, but I think I can sum it up in eight words: “I bought myself a huge, new, magnificent rack.” I don’t think there could really be much more to it.

I get “Entertainment Weekly”. Every third column, Stephen King writes about something that he (and not third person referrer Fist Tickle Brick) finds interesting. The latest one is about music. He has a list of like a dozen songs that people should download. He writes this like he has this list of songs that are hidden gems. One of the songs is Sublime’s “What I Got”, which is probably one of the ten most heard songs on the radio by me in the past ten years. Seriously. I wonder why he didn’t tell me to download U2’s “Beautiful Day” and “Alive” by Pearl Jam too. But I don’t really even care that much about that. I think what bothers me most about the article is that I care about as much about what music Stephen King recommends as I would a column about Lara Flynn Boyle’s favorite restaurants or Tommy Lee’s top grooming tips.

Well, I’ve got a lot of shit to do so that I can complain about it to you in tomorrow’s entry. ‘Cause that’s my style, bee-yotches.

Fist Tickle Brick

P.S. Speaking of bee-yotches…Happy Birthday, Dahl-beeyotch! (My wife says so too!) Thirty ain’t so bad! Okay, that’s a lie. But have a great one!

3 Comments:

  • At 9:09 AM, Blogger justrose said…

    I don't know, the Ghostbusters! thing still always makes me laugh. God am I sad. I still also like Reebok "Freestyles." In white.

    Since my name rhymes with it, the title of your post was a frequent childhood insult. Now I'm all traumatized. I guess the healing can begin.

     
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