How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Maybe They Could Call It "Eau de Dirty Ditch"

What I meant to say yesterday was that beside Prince Rainier of Monaco, I would pick Mickey Rooney in the dead pool. I figured you already knew the Prince would have been my guess though.

Hmm…so what’s going on with me? Well, I don’t really like talking about myself, but since you asked…I’m feeling much better. I’ve actually worked out the last two days without coughing non-stop, so that’s something. I still cough up phlegm like a phlegm factory (if there was such a magical place as a phlegm factory), but I’m doing aw-ight. Last night was interesting. Okay, not really, but for the sake of argument, let’s pretend. My son didn’t eat that well at dinner, as he kept throwing up. My wife left to go out for her girls’ night out. After I changed my son’s puke-covered clothes, I got a call from my wife. Apparently no one else showed up at her girls’ night. I looked at her emailed invitation, and her girls’ night is actually scheduled for April 12th. So that was mildly entertaining to me, but mostly because when she walked in the door she gave my son a big hug and said, “Your mommy is really stupid!” I don’t know why that was so funny to me, but it was (I’m sure you don’t know why that was funny either). After that we put him to bed, but he didn’t fall asleep. I went up to work out, and when I came downstairs when I was done, Mrs. Brick was rocking ‘Lil Brick who was crying. His upper teeth are coming in so I think he’s in a little pain. Right now he has fangs. I think the front teeth will be coming in soon, but for right now, he looks like a baby vampire. I’m not going to call him Lestat, because I never saw that one movie or read any of Anne Rice’s books. So besides that, the only other vampires I can think of where I actually know their names are Dracula, Count Chocula, and the Count from “Sesame Street”, so I guess I won’t be calling him by any vampire names. Kinda takes the fun out of it, but I’ll have to live with that. Anyway, he eventually fell asleep, and we watched the rest of “Amazing Race” which I’m actually starting to get into. Even if they don’t have a midget on it this season.

(Sarcasm) I am so excited that Britney Spears and her backup dancer, er, husband will be starring in their own reality show. I think it will be really interesting to see her walking around with her bag of Cheetos and Red Bull as she shops for t-shirts with clever sayings like “I’m a virgin” on it. Oh, that Britney sure can show off her personality with her wacky t-shirts. Hopefully we’ll get to see their trips to the salon so we can see her hubby get his corn-rows, because he sure doesn’t look at all like an idiot when he has the ‘rows working. I doubt we’ll be that lucky though. (End of sarcasm). I think instead we’ll get to see her out promoting her new fragrance “Curious”. Two things about Britney having her own perfume: Why the name “Curious”? When I think of Britney Spears, curiosity isn’t in the picture. Nothing about her really peaks my curiosity, except why she married two guys in one year and why the one she stayed with seems like the biggest white trash loser ever. Every time that I see him I think of Jamie Kennedy in “Malibu’s Most Wanted”. I think a better name for her perfume would be “WT Skank”, although I heard Christina Aguilera might have already took that name. And what self-respecting woman would want to wear the perfume named after Spears? I’ve never ran into her before, but I’m imagining that she’d smell like a combination of vodka vomit, cigarettes, Federline B.O., and cat piss. Maybe I’m alone in my thoughts about her, but I really think she’s headed straight down the path previously traveled by Sally Struthers, Anna Nicole Smith, and Kirstie Alley. She needs an image makeover soon.

Have a fantastic fucking day!


  • At 7:55 AM, Blogger Doncock said…

    I don't think the Count from Sesame Street was a vampire. He just had a vampirous (look it up) accent. Hey, maybe you could call Lil Brick Mark Kendall. Huh? You don't know who that is? It's Jim Carrey's character in Once Bitten from 1985, of course.

  • At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pink Ladee says-
    The Count from Sesame Street was a vampire cuz he had the clothes, the vampire voice and turned into a bat...but since it was Sesame Street i think instead of having an insatiable thirst for blood, he had it for numbers and counting.

    What was the name of that vampire kid from the Lost Boys? You could call him that...
    good post! funny stuff.
    oh, did the stupid gay law pass?

  • At 6:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pink Ladee again-
    Also, this is pretty funny...ala Britney Spears-


Post a Comment

<< Home