How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I Knew I Shouldn't Have Bet On The Nigerian!

Congratulations to the Catholics for electing your new Pope. Although I think if I were the new Pope, I’d have picked a name other than Benedict XVI. I was looking at a list of the previous Benedicts, and five of them were only around for one year each, and three more were Popes for less than four years. And that’s not even talking about Benedict IX, whose reign as King of the Catholics was mired in controversy and chock full o’ trouble. I mean, especially if I was 78 years old, I’d pick a name that had a tradition of being around a while. That is unless you can have whatever Pope name you want, and then I think I’d be Pope Rock Hungwell I. That would make ‘em flock to the church!

The Wacky Arquettes (that’s Courteney and David) are pissed off that there are unauthorized photos of their 10-month-old daughter Coco floating around on the internet. They are so mad, they are thinking of suing someone. I sort of see their point, with all the crap going around in the world, but really…if anyone should get sued, shouldn’t it be the Wacky Arquettes for naming their kid Coco? I’m sure that kid won’t get picked on too much for that.

Fucking Brewers!!!

“American Pie” actress (not “star” as some publications have reported) Natasha Lyonne is a freakin’ nutcase. She really needs her own reality show, or at least needs to be on “Surreal Life 6”. So in December she went into a neighbor’s apartment and started screaming and ripped a mirror off the wall. And then (this is almost as funny as it is disturbing), she threatened to molest the neighbor’s dog. Molest the dog?!?!? Okay, maybe she shouldn’t have her own reality show. That’s more along the line of an R. Kelly underground video. But I can’t wait to see what zany hi-jinx PETA will do to Lyonne after this!

If I already wrote this, then I apologize, but how do you think Mark Gastineau feels about having two of his babies’ mamas being on their own reality shows? Although I’m not sure what’s worse: having one ex acting like a 21-year-old with your twenty-something daughter or having the other have sex with Flavor Flav. Either way, he sure can pick ‘em.

Well, that’s it. Maybe send an email to so I can answer your question. That would be nice. If that happened, along with me not even having to use my AK, I’d have to say it’d be a good day.


  • At 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    FTB - Isn't Benedictine a college...I thought he named himself Benedict, without the -ine? Oh well...also the younger Gastineau is flippin' H-O-T! OUT!

  • At 7:46 AM, Blogger Fist Tickle Brick said…

    I can only get comments if I spell something wrong or some other mistake. DAMN YOU ALL!!!! I fixed it. Jerks!

  • At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Sp. Ed said…

    An update to the horrible incident involving the attempted K-9 molestation. "The dog emerged from the attack unscathed, but possibly suffered from emotional anguish."

    I think it would depend on how she was looking that day...

    Like this = not molestation

    Like this = horrible life long mental anguish that would involve electro-shock therepy.

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Fist Tickle Brick said…

    That second one looks like Carrot Top

  • At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Doncock said…

    Actually, that second one makes Carrot Top look kinda hot.

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