How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

You Are So Wrong, JP! So Wrong!

I have to take issue with what JP wrote yesterday in the comments section. His stance is that the Hootie Burger King commercial is worse than the “When I get a brand new…hair-do!” Sarah Jessica Parker Gap commercial. I just plain disagree, and I honestly don’t think it’s even close. “Why, Fist Tickle Brick?!?!? Why?!?!?” you ask. Fuckin’ relax! I’ll tell you why. First of all, the Hootie commercial has the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders in it. You’ll never go wrong with that. Also, Brooke Burke is in it. I don’t love her like a lot of guys do, but she is one fine-lookin’ lady. But the main thing I like about it is that Hootie is in it. “What in the fuck are you talking about, Fist Tickle Brick? That’s crazy talk!” you say. Well, let me put it like this. Hootie (or “Darius Rucker” for Hootie defender, Doncock) is basically a cheesy guy. Hootie and the Blowfish played cheesy music. I wasn’t ever a Hootie fan, but at least they always seemed like easy-going guys who probably were okay people. They never seemed to take themselves too seriously as far as I know. And in this Burger King commercial, Hootie dressed up as a dorky cowboy and sang some cheesy jingle about some sandwich. He played a cheesy role, which is perfect as he didn’t pretend to be something different from who he is. Now with the SJP Gap commercial, they try to make it seem like SJP is some hot sexpot like Selma Hayek or Angelina Jolie. She’s not. Not even close. Now I’m not saying that she’s an ugly, Dee Snider look-alike like I’ve heard some people refer to her as. She cute in a “Hey, she and Ferris Bueller are cute together” kinda way. Nothing more. Just because she was in a grossly overrated show where chicks talked about getting railed and used a lot of cock-related puns doesn’t make her hot. I really don’t want to slam her anymore because I did like “Square Pegs” and she gets a little bit of slack from me because of that. But seriously Gap, don’t try to make her out as something “sexy”, because it just doesn’t work. I mean, I kinda have a thing for Maya Rudolph from “Saturday Night Live”, but never in a million years would I buy her acting like she was Liz Hurley. Oh, and Gap: don’t give her some stupid jingle to go with it that just won’t leave my already borderline-retarded mind! That’s just too much for me to handle.

Apparently my new site isn’t as appealing as my old one, so I am working on things. I will try to update it first thing in the morning if I can, but I am also up for some advice or suggestions if you have any. One thing though is that I can’t figure out the picture part of it, so I might have to get a new site if that is what the main problem is. Also, emails are more than welcome. I’d like to see what you think I need to do to get back to where I once was with you guys. Which was a huge part of your heart! Awww!!!

One quick note before I finish this morning’s entry for all of you who told me how wrong I am about “Napoleon Dynamite”: It may have a lot of quotable lines from it, just not that many that are funny. Love ya!


  • At 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fist Tickle Brick...sometimes I wonder if we are thinking the same thing, because a lot of your insights are the same as mine. But the last two entries have proved it to me that we are. The whole Napoleon Dynamite movie...I didn't like it either, and Maya Rudolph...there is something about her. So I say you are right on.

  • At 8:33 AM, Blogger JP said…

    Oh Dansting-y Boy...methinks you misunderstand me.

    I actually like Hootie & The Blowfish and I agree that they seem like they'd be decent guys to hang out with.

    I also agree that Brooke Burke is a welcome addition to any commercial, as are the Cowboys Cheerleaders.

    I say though that in spite of all that, it is still a crappy commercial. I mean, I guess it has done its job to some extent by getting me to remember who the commercial is for, but it pains me to see a legitimate top musical artist hawking chicken sandwiches for a fast food chain.

    As for SJP...what else does she have going for her these days? I guess she can live off of SITC and Ferris royalties, but a girl's gotta work, right?

    Honestly, I agree with you that it is a complete stretch to buy SJP in that kind of role. All I'm saying is Darius looks like even more of a sellout than ever for doing that piece of crap Cheeseburger King commercial. (That's what my boy J calls that restaurant.)

    As for Napoleon Dynamite, I haven't seen it yet, so I can't comment and I can kind of see where you're going with the whole Maya Rudolph thing. Personally, I dig Tina Fey a little more myself.


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