How About Some More Crap You Can Read?

Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Mmm...Bacon Tumbleweeds!!!

This weekend pretty much blew. On Friday night, I helped move a cooler for my sister-in-law’s new floral business, and the rest of the weekend my back hurt. I started getting sick on Friday night, and I still am not 100%. KU lost to fucking Bucknell! My son is really sick. And there was no new episode of “Surreal Life” for the second straight week. Things really need to get better soon. Hopefully Kief will be doing a lot of yelling tonight on “24”, because that might be my favorite thing on television. Kiefer yelling always seems to make my life better. “WHERE IS THE OVERRIDE?!?!?!?” (I’m smiling just thinking about that.)

I wonder if KC and the Sunshine Band make more money now than when they were popular in the 1970s. Because it seems like every other commercial has one of their songs in it. They couldn’t possibly have been as annoying back in the ‘70s than they are now. If I never hear “That’s the Way (I Like It)”, “Shake Shake Shake (Your Booty)”, or “Keep It Comin’ Love” again I will be a much better human being. I avoid county fairs just for the chance that I’ll be there the day they’re playing, which might cause some sort of Fist Tickle Brick related incident. Most likely suicide.

Speaking of suicide, let it be known now that if I end up like Terri Shiavo, let me die. Please. I don’t want to be a vegetable and live for 15 years by having machines feed me if the doctors state there is no way to get back to close to normal. Just let me die. Thank you.

I won’t mention it by name, but I really hate the-company-that-I-work-for’s commercials. A lot. There are a lot of commercials that really are annoying right now, but maybe that’s because I’ve been watching the NCAA Tournament all weekend (yes, even after Friday night) and CBS only seems to play eight different commercials. Some that I thought were clever at first, but I could go the rest of my life without seeing. Let’s see, there’s the Miller Lite “Taste Loss” commercial, which was mildly amusing at first. Then there’s the deodorant commercial with either “The Wuss”, “The Suck-Up”, or “Mama’s Boy”, which are bad because I don’t even remember which company it’s even for. I’ll just stick with my Old Spice Arctic Force, although probably only because I think it sounds cool. Then there’s Hootie’s Burger King Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich commercial, which I don’t even mind. Add in all the insurance and cell phone commercials, and it’s pretty mind numbing. Not that my mind needed anymore numbing.

One more thing about Hootie’s Burger King Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich commercial: I really wouldn’t mind so much living in a magical land with singing cowboys, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, Brooke Burke, streets paved with cheddar, and sandwiches growing on trees. But if that wonderland had “bacon tumbleweeds”, that might gross me out a little. I love bacon and all, but the thought of seeing pig flesh blowing in the wind kinda makes me queasy. Call me crazy, but that’s not something I’d look forward to seeing ever. Have a great week!


  • At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pink Ladeez says...

    Here I come to save the daaaay!! I just heard that the Gap dumped Sarah Jessica Parker as their spokesperson. So, you won't be hearing the "When I get a brand new...hairdo!" commericals anymore.
    I heard something about the Gap thinking that she was too sexy for their image. As soon as I got done laughing, I came here to tell you.

    Don't say I never did nuthin' for ya. :-)

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