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Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Looking Out For My Boy!

Before I start, I have to tell you that I totally stole this from Jon Stewart. I’m not claiming to be clever, but I thought this was funny:

Last night I went to the Power Plant Brewery in Parkville, MO. It was one of our beer nights, although there were only three of us there. Caddylac, his friend Derrick, and I were there, and the food was decent and the beers were pretty good. The service wasn’t so good, but it could have been worse. Anyway, our waitress was a 21-year-old who seemed nice enough, and she had a pretty good personality. After two samplers and a couple of Man in Black Porters, we were all joking around with her. She mentioned something about having a one-year-old daughter, and she showed us a picture. Cute kid. So I asked her if her daughter liked younger guys, as I had an 11-month-old son. She kinda shrugged and said, “Maybe. I dunno.” And then I asked her, “Do you think in like 18 years, it’d be cool if my son could do your daughter?” She gave me a kind of shocked look, and then started laughing. I think (my memory is a little cloudy) Caddylac said something like, “Eighteen years?!?!? That’ll be a late start. You may want to schedule something earlier than that.” Anyway, we left soon thereafter, and we thanked her and she thanked us, adding “No, your son cannot do my daughter!” Fun stuff.

I think when the federal government is done working on the really important issues, like steroids in baseball and whether or not they should let a spouse decide whether or not his practically brain-dead wife will continue to live on through a feeding tube, they need to work on passing a law requiring all public and business restrooms have some sort of toilet seat cover. Seriously. I think this is an important issue, one that needs to be addressed immediately. Yesterday at work, I had to take a shit, and when I got to the toilet, there was piss all over the seat. At my fucking work!!!!! Luckily, my work has toilet seat covers, but what if they didn’t? It’s a scary thought, I know. But they need to get this law passed. Think about it: How much better would you feel knowing that you were going to Burger King’s shitter and you were going to have a toilet seat cover there? And if they didn’t, you could call the sanitation department and get revenge by them fining Burger King $500. This needs to get done, and it needs to get done ASAP. Please write your congressman and congresswomen today! Hedy, you have political connections! Please get on this for the betterment of our world. Thank you.

Well, I’m not feeling tip-top, thanks to the flu (not the beer flu). Hopefully I will get better, but you never know. Have a great weekend, and I will blabber to you later.


  • At 7:59 AM, Blogger caddylac said…

    You "had an 11 month old"....did you all lose him last night or something?? Where did he go?? Just curious.

  • At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    While I agree with you in principle. The disposable toilet seat cover does not solve all problems. For instance, I was at work the other day where covers are provided. I entered the stall happy to find that the previous occupant had taken the extra three seconds to use a cover, but not the extra four seconds to remove it and flush it. It did have some brown discoloration, so that could explain why he left it there. What they really need is a robotic arm that extends from the wall and cleans the seat after each use.

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger JP said…

    Last night was Beer Night???

    How did I miss that?

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