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Here you can read about crap, stuff, or whatever you want to call whatever I write.

Friday, March 04, 2005

I Have No Desire To Be An Intern

I know, I know. I haven’t written much lately, and what I have written was probably boring. Well, life’s been busy, crazy, and boring lately, all at the same time, so it’s been tough to: A. Find time to write much; and B: Think about something interesting to write about. Well, at’s “Page 2” they have a guy cleverly named “The Sports Guy” who writes about all sorts of shit. Many people compared my last site to his, which wasn’t my aim, but he has a nice fan base so I’ll take that as a compliment. Well, right now, he is looking for an intern. I was too old to apply for it, and it’s not something that I’d really want to do. But he has had a competition between potential prospects to write essays about whatever he feels like. The latest competition is as follows:
“Round 3 was a "Let's get to know you" round. We asked the remaining contestants to answer the following four questions in 500 words or less:
1. What was your favorite sports moment that you've seen in person?
2. What's your favorite sports movie ever and why?
3. Who's your favorite athlete ever and why?
4. What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?”

Well, after this paragraph, I will attempt to do this, just for your pleasure. I hope you enjoy it.

What was your favorite sports moment that you’ve ever seen in person?
I’ve seen some good games. Last years Royals’ home opener was awesome. I’ve been to many KU basketball games which were sweet, as well as some great NFL games. But I’d have to say that my favorite all-time sports moment was the first day game in the history of Miller Park. The game itself was really good. Junior Griffey struck out with two outs and the bases loaded late in the game down two runs. The Brewers hit a few homers, so we saw Bernie Brewer go down the slide. Polish Sausage won the sausage race. The Brewers won. But the best part of the game was when we saw this guy from our high school, a guy who got arrested for beating up his girlfriend, getting kicked out of the stadium. I stood up on my seat screaming, “Get that wife beater out of here!” repeatedly.. Few things are funnier than seeing a scumbag getting kicked out of a stadium.

What’s your favorite sports movie ever and why?
Easy. “Kingpin”. Where do I start? Scenes with the nasty landlord. Woody Harrelson “milks” a bull and proceeds to drink from the pail of bull semen. Vanessa Angel’s in it. Bill Murray’s United Way parody commercial. “I’d sooner get ‘Munsoned’ out here in the middle of nowhere than lose face in front of my family.” Hilarious movie.

Who’s your favorite athlete ever and why?
Wilt Chamberlain. Went to KU. Scored 100 points in an NBA basketball game (one-hundred points!!!). Probably scored with 100 women in one week at some point. Claimed to have done 20,000 women, and that was a decade before he died. And when he went back to have his jersey retired at KU, he wore his lettermen’s jacket, which he still had. And did I mention that he claimed to have done 20,000 women?

What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?”
I thought it was funny a few years ago when K-State’s Pervis Pasco caught the inbounds pass with a two-point lead in the last 1.8 seconds of the game and started running with the ball celebrating their “win”. He got called for travelling, and Colorado proceeded to hit a three pointer to win the game. When Kentucky football players poured Gatorade on their head coach late in a game against LSU thinking they won, only to have LSU throw a Hail Mary touchdown pass as time expired to win; that was good stuff too. But the funniest moment ever was when David Newhan hit an inside-the-park home run last year, in which leftfielder Manny Ramirez cut off the throw from centerfielder Johnny Damon. The fact that he cut the throw off at all is hilarious, but that Ramirez dove to catch Damon’s throw almost made me piss myself. Almost. Funniest thing I ever saw in any sport, especially having it happen from a superstar player.

That was 500 words exactly. Well, that’s all I’ve got. Have a great weekend!


  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger caddylac said…

    Dude, you really counted the words your need help.

  • At 12:20 PM, Blogger Fist Tickle Brick said…

    On Microsoft Word, there is another tool called "Word Count". 99% of the world know that. Figure it out.


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