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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Another "Sports Guy's Intern" Contest Entry

Another “Sports Guy’s Intern” entry for you, even though the last one wasn’t that good. I hope this one will be better.

1. What's your favorite SNL sketch ever and why?

I don’t know what to choose. “More Cowbell” was great. Eddie Murphy as “Mr. White” was a classic. Chris Farley as Matt Foley (especially the first time with Christina Applegate) was freaking hilarious. “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer”, “Synchronized Swimming”, or the recent one where they were filming “Gigli” and Ben Affleck is repeatedly being told by a retarded guy (Fred Armisen) that the movie is terrible are all good choices. But I think the sketch where Joe Montana says exactly what was on his mind was my favorite. Every time I see Joe Montana on TV, I wish someone would ask him about that skit. When he said, “You won’t bother me; I’ll be in my room masturbating,” that had to be the funniest moment in the history of the show.

2. What's the funniest scene in movie history and why?

Unintentional: “You’re the man now, dog?” from “Finding Forrester”.Intentional: The entire baseball sequence in “The Naked Gun”. Probably the only time in the history of film that something was funny when Tim McCarver was on the screen. “Is this an official bat?” CLUNK! Great stuff.

3. What's your favorite reality-TV moment ever and why?
Hmm…I’d be interested in reading your comments on yours. For me, it has to be Corey Feldman’s singing in the “talent” show the first season of “Surreal Life”, where he sang some song and said that it was on his current album. He sang about as well as I would if I swallowed broken glass and then gargled acid while singing. I’m sure people rushed out to get it.
4. If you could choose any sports scandal to happen, what would it be and why?
I wish that it came out that the reason Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent didn’t like each other when they played on the Giants was because they were gay lovers and had a bad break-up. I think the public would like Bonds even less than they would if he admitted to using HGH or steroids, and that fact that Jeff Kent is almost as unlikable as Bonds would be an added bonus. That would be the best thing ever to happen to these two unlikable pricks. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay.


I was just on a conference call with my friend Mike, and I spent the second half of the call sending instant messages to him acting like we were in the “A-Team” (which started after I said, “Sounds like a plan!” to which Mike wrote, “I love it when a plan comes together.” I’m not really too sure what was said during the call, but at least I got to refer to myself as “Howling Mad” (Fist Tickle Brick). So at least something good came out of that call.

Have a great day! Soccer season starts tonight. Be sure to watch Fox Sports Net or World or some Fox Sports channel to see all the, ahem, excitement!

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